dentist: *shoots you* you’re bleeding b/c you dont floss
LOOK AT THEIR LITTLE LEGS THEY BARELY KNOW HOW TO STAND THEY’RE SO EXCITED FOR FOOD OHY GOD
You're Gonna Miss it All
BULLSHIT, YOU FUCKING MISS ME. THERE, I SAID IT, I GUESS I’LL TALK TO YOU IN A FEW MONTHS, SITTING DRUNK ON THE SIDE WALK; I GUESS I’LL GET UP, I GUESS I’LL GO FOR A WALK. BRUSH MY SHOES AGAINST THE PAVEMENT; I SWEAR THIS HAS GOTTA BE THE HUNDREDTH TIME I’VE THOUGHT OF YOU TONIGHT.
when you see a dog from across the street
"what classes are you taking this semester"
once i was so high that i heard a drum beat and for a good fifteen seconds i thought that the events of the movie jumanji were about to happen to me
enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn’t get uncomfortable after 5 minutes
When you’re talking shit about someone then they walk past you